I was thinking we could set aside at least a few hours on this day every year to educate ourselves on our nation’s domestic and foreign policies, and then move forward together as an informed citizenry towards realizing improved financial and social freedom...Stupid idea. Let’s just crack open some beers, stuff our face with sausage, and set small Chinese-made explosives. Happy 4th!
Congratulations on getting married
Congratulations (new baby)
Congratulations (early retirement)
Congratulations (coming out of the closet - boy)
Congratulations (coming out of the closet - girl)
Thinking of you (from your stalker)
Welcome to the neighborhood
Wish You Were Here
I Miss You (Babysitter)
Thanks for the (shitty) gift
Sorry for Killing Your Bird
Sorry for Killing Your Cat
Death to Your Stupid Pets
Get Well Soon (You and your Mom)
We're Having a Baby