Sam Zayvan is a deeply messed up individual who watched too much stand up comedy when he was little and is now fulfilling a childhood dream to do it. His favorite comics were Dave Chappelle, Bill Hicks, and Sam Kinison. He has nothing really interesting to say, and uses comedy simply as a method to feed his own gigantic ego and to force his stupid thoughts on innocent bystanders who just want to laugh and have a good time. Sam feels deeply sorry for anybody that ever actually has to hear his comedy, but he cares more about himself to stop doing this crap. Sam also enjoys writing about himself in the third person.